01.21.04

“And now you want to ask me how…it’s like ‘How does your heart beat and why do you breathe?’ – and now you want to ask me why…it’s like ‘How does your heart beat and why do you cry?’” --Lisa Loeb

So…now what? I’m not used to having down time like this, so every once in a while I get this feeling like I am forgetting something important or not doing what I should be. Realistically, this may be accurate. I tend to do better when I have too much to do – I stay more focused and somehow get it all done.

Having less to do is a little weird for me. It’s kind of nice, but weird all the same. I don’t want to give the impression that I am sitting around eating bon-bons all day or anything like that. I think that my family and friends here could actually keep me occupied most of the time with little trouble (who needs a job?).

I’m a perpetual list-maker, so I have several “To Do” lists going at once. I have a daily ritual of looking at job listings and responding to interesting possibilities. If there were a listing for professional e-mail checker, I would be a shoe-in. Somehow I think that those things won’t really pay the bills.

I’m trying to lay low in some areas…it would be easy to over-commit now only to realize that once I do get a job I won’t have as much time to dedicate to “extras.” So, it’s little things for now, and sometimes I get the “Hmmm…now what?” dialogue going on in my head. I’m ok with it for a little while longer – but pretty soon I need to get back to my harried, busy, over-involved little self. Maybe then I will feel a bit more normal.

But until then, I may have more of these little ramblings for you all to read! Keep on keepin’ on...