05.11.04

"When my soul was in the lost and found, you came along to claim it... I didn't know just what was wrong with me 'til your kiss helped me name it..." Carole King

How sad is it that I had to go through and read my journals from April and March, as scarce as they were, to figure out what has been going on with me lately? Pathetic, I know. By this time, you have all given up on me or just stopped caring about my little ramblings...but I'm back again, kiddos. Even if the only person who reads this is me wondering what the heck was going on in my life at a certain point, these journals are worth it to me.

So, let's see... what's new? Work. I am still searching for that perfect opportunity. I am currently working two jobs because I am crazy, one downtown at a title company (which is a learning experience) and one at the other end of the earth at Starbucks. I just can't give the coffee up quite yet. I have been complaining about the fact that I haven't had a day off in over 2 weeks, but that will be remedied soon enough. I can suck it up.

Music. Despite my attempts to move out of my new comfort zone of the lovely Atomic Cowboy, I have not booked any new gigs in town. BAD Cara! I do have a list of open mic nights that I want to check out, and am trying to get scheduled at a friend's coffee shop in Alton, IL. I have been playing and writing a few new songs, so the next step for me is to work up a set list and start pounding the pavement. Also, I am in the process of working on a new press kit for my "singer/songwriter" persona as well as my "professional soloist" side...I just need to have time to actually sit down and put that stuff together. I'm also going to audition for the St. Louis Symphony Chorus this month - back in choir again! (yay!)

Other. I'm still trying to take care of myself. Trying to figure out what I want for my life. Making new friends but keeping the old. Things aren't perfect, but they are pretty durn good. I am so fortunate to have wonderful family and friends, to be able to work and play, to have the freedom to keep searching for fulfillment and meaning and purpose in my life.

Things may or may not slow down anytime soon - who knows? Keep checking in with me and I will try to give you something to read from time to time, even if it's nothing more than random thoughts from little old me. :)

Keep on living, keep on loving.