“I seem to recognize your face, haunting familiar yet I can’t seem to place it; cannot find the candle of thought to light your name…lifetimes are catching up with me” --Pearl Jam
Welcome to 1994, everyone! I will be your official tour guide to Wayback Week.
I don’t know what it is…there is no full moon, I don’t know which planets are aligned with which, but this has been the weirdest week I’ve had in a long time. I have seen or heard from several people that I went to high school with that I normally don’t. Some of it, granted, was by design (had a little get together, or as Liz said “gather together”) but some of it was completely random.
Chaos theory. That must be it. I was watching one of my highly philosophical and intelligent TV shows the other night, Scrubs, (oh, you know you love it, too) and they did a little play on the whole “chaos theory” concept (a butterfly flaps its wings in Toronto or wherever and causes a Tsunami in Japan). Essentially, one small change can start a chain of events that can effect much more drastic change. We’ve all seen it in our lives. So there must be a butterfly somewhere pushing all of this ancient history back into present day.
Maybe subconsciously I’m willing it to happen. I am definitely thinking more about my life 10 years ago now that I am back in St. Louis where that life was. The impending 10 year anniversary of my high school graduation is also a factor. I’m thinking about “glory days” per se (oh, wait, that was college…).
So we’ll see what else surfaces in this little trip down memory lane. I know that getting back in touch with people this far has been fun…so who knows where else it may take me. Time will tell.
Peace.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
03.24.04
“I took a walk around the block, I bought a candle it was flaming red…I thought a thought then I forgot so I sang the happy song in my head…” --Patty Griffin
A friend and I were talking recently about how I am a “yes” girl – a people pleaser. I don’t know the reason why; it’s just a part of my personality. I have a desire and a need to take care of other people – unfortunately sometimes to the detriment of taking care of me.
Over the past year, I have been making an effort to learn how to make myself happy first. It’s not that being nurturing and caring isn’t important to me…I’m just realizing that if I am physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted I am not going to be able to do anything for anyone else. It’s hard to think about myself first. It feels selfish or egotistical to consider what I need over others. But I am trying to be better about it – it just feels strange.
I have definitely made great strides in the “taking care of me” arena in the past year…it has definitely been a year of growth in many, many ways.
My challenge to you is to do something nice for yourself this week. It could be anything from a new pair of shoes to eating healthy to a bubble bath– but make sure that it benefits you only. I think you will be glad you did.
Take care of you!
P.S. The lyrics up there belong to my current theme song “Flaming Red” by Patty Griffin. If you don’t have this album (of the same name) buy it now….it rocks!
A friend and I were talking recently about how I am a “yes” girl – a people pleaser. I don’t know the reason why; it’s just a part of my personality. I have a desire and a need to take care of other people – unfortunately sometimes to the detriment of taking care of me.
Over the past year, I have been making an effort to learn how to make myself happy first. It’s not that being nurturing and caring isn’t important to me…I’m just realizing that if I am physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted I am not going to be able to do anything for anyone else. It’s hard to think about myself first. It feels selfish or egotistical to consider what I need over others. But I am trying to be better about it – it just feels strange.
I have definitely made great strides in the “taking care of me” arena in the past year…it has definitely been a year of growth in many, many ways.
My challenge to you is to do something nice for yourself this week. It could be anything from a new pair of shoes to eating healthy to a bubble bath– but make sure that it benefits you only. I think you will be glad you did.
Take care of you!
P.S. The lyrics up there belong to my current theme song “Flaming Red” by Patty Griffin. If you don’t have this album (of the same name) buy it now….it rocks!
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
03.02.04
“What do you say when it’s all gone away? Baby I didn’t mean to hurt you…truth spoke in whispers can tear you apart no matter how hard you resist it; it never rains when you want it to…” --Kevin Breit (Norah Jones)
Signs of life are starting to show…March came in yesterday like a lamb, but I have a feeling that the lion is lurking around the corner. I am tentatively hoping that spring is here to stay!
Mom told me the other day that she has a good feeling about this month – like positive things are in store. I’m banking on her feeling, because I am getting a little antsy for my life to start progressing further here. Let’s all have hope that she’s right. I had a job interview yesterday for a job that I really want and am going to “play out” for the first time in St. Louis tomorrow night. Granted, this is only an open mic night, but it is a place to start.
So far, March is looking promising. Other than those little tidbits, life has been pretty normal. Keep me in your thoughts on the job front – I need a routine (and the income) and soon!
Signs of life are starting to show…March came in yesterday like a lamb, but I have a feeling that the lion is lurking around the corner. I am tentatively hoping that spring is here to stay!
Mom told me the other day that she has a good feeling about this month – like positive things are in store. I’m banking on her feeling, because I am getting a little antsy for my life to start progressing further here. Let’s all have hope that she’s right. I had a job interview yesterday for a job that I really want and am going to “play out” for the first time in St. Louis tomorrow night. Granted, this is only an open mic night, but it is a place to start.
So far, March is looking promising. Other than those little tidbits, life has been pretty normal. Keep me in your thoughts on the job front – I need a routine (and the income) and soon!
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